Suffering
by ComeAndLayYourBonesDown
Summary: Carl and Rick seek out shelter after the group is broken apart. What Carl doesn't expect, is to learn how to handle the lives around him; Including some new strangers he isn't too interested of sharing a life with.
1. Chapter 1

_Carl dragged his feet; tired from the heavy weight of Rick on his left shoulder_.

"I need some help," he grunted. _Hoping the jab to his father's rib would get him _

_to move his feet again._

"Carl. I'm sorry...I'm getting weaker," Rick croaked "Can we sit and rest for a

bit?"

_Carl glanced around at the woods on both sides of the train track they were _

_stumbling on._

"Not safe enough. Once we sit, a minute will turn into five and the more time we

waste the faster the walkers appear."

_Rick only made a weak grunt in response. He was in terrible shape from the fight _

_back at the prison. The Governor got a few good blows in targeted at his head; _

_which caused Carl to wince every time he glanced over at his father. His blood _

_was on the plaid of his shirt; staining it. That's okay, it's just his only _

_shirt for the next few days. Unknowing when they would come across a building _

_for shelter. The walk here was tiresome and to say Carl was exhausted was an _

_understatement. He promised himself they wouldn't stop walking until it seemed _

_safe; so far, no such luck. _

_Carl was now considering just climbing a tree for the night to camp out so the _

_walkers couldn't get to them, but Rick would probably fall out of the tree with _

_his luck. He was becoming hopeless until a few snapping branches startled him. _

_Carl pulled out his gun, still supporting his father, as he pointed it towards _

_the left side of the woods. _

"You'll only attract more..." Rick murmured; keeping an eye on his son's gun

right in front of his face. _Carl brushed off his dad's comment, staying silent _

_as he waited for further movement from the woods._

"Shit. Alive. I'm alive. Don't shoot." A manly voice, that sounded nothing like

groans of the dead, stated as he appeared out of the shadows. _Carl kept his gun _

_pointed at the man and the stranger raised his hands in defense._

"Lower your weapon, Carl." Rick looked over at his Sheriff hat clad boy.

"Well this is such a warm welcoming..." The stranger hushed sarcastically "Look

I don't want to hurt you, I was just out checking our fence. I- we. My group, we

are staying in a Walmart just a few miles deep in these trees here. I can bring

you there if you spare my life. It looks like your old man needs some tending.

We have that kind of care. Please."

"Yes, thank you." Rick tried walking towards the man and fell into Carl;

tiredly.

"Let me help," the man hurried to Rick's right side; supporting him. "My name is

Doug."

"I'm Rick. This is my boy Carl."

"Carl, aye? That's your name?"

"Yeah," Carl mutters.

"Well then Carl, you mind lowering your weapon now?" Doug smiles softly at Carl.

Who in return rolls his eyes and shoves the gun away in its holder, "you can

never be too careful."

"Keep moving and trust nobody is Carl's motto," Rick added

Doug hummed and shrugged, "Nothing wrong with being cautious. There's all these

different types of people with different morals, crammed in that Walmart

together. It was hard in the beginning when the group was still being formed but

now we trust each other like family. Welcoming anyone in that may need help"

"We have a group like that. Only we got split up recently, we've been wandering

since."

"Did they do this to you?"

"Of course not, for the longest time we had a feud with a rival group and they

cracked. Attacking us all."

_Doug processed this and opened the gate to the electric fence. Helping Carl _

_bring Rick through the slim opening. Carl could get a view of a large grey _

_building not that far in the distance. Doug kicked a tree as the passed it and _

_he let out an audible sigh,_

"Shit is what this world has come to."


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm back! The fences are fixed and I found some friends," Doug called into the  
abandoned looking Walmart.

_Normally the shelves would be overflowing with half priced shit that nobody  
truly needed. Yet, here they are looking empty. Packages for batteries  
scattered, along with empty cans strew about. As if someone came through and  
ransacked the place. As Carl looked around he noticed a pyramid looking  
sculpture on the far left, made out of cereal boxes and cans. Well there's all  
the food; Oddly stored.  
_  
"Please don't tell me you found another zombie head," A voice called out as  
their footsteps approached "Oh. Wow they're not decapitated or anything. Good  
job Doug."

_A pregnant woman chuckled as she fiddled with the hammer in her hand. Her eyes_  
_properly focused on the pair next to Doug; Carl eyed her bulging belly and he_  
_stared at his feet. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Rick gave Carl's hip a_  
_light squeeze knowing exactly what was bothering his son._

"They look a bit run down and that one needs medical attention," she points to  
Rick with her hammer "go find Raymond."

_The older woman commanded with a huff turning her gaze to Doug; then turning_  
_round back where she appeared from. Doug tightened his grip on Rick's hip as_  
_they started walking further into the store; Carl could've sworn he heard music_  
_being played as they passed the toy section. He was unable to glance over_  
_because of his father and Doug blocking his side view. Once they reached what_  
_once was the electronics section, now more likely a conference area considering_  
_the shattered and unwanted televisions shoved off the shelves. Bodies came to_  
_life after a few beats of silence and noticed the trio standing there._

"You brought company," a husky man spoke first.

"Rick," Doug pointed to the man he was supporting with his side "he needs  
serious tending. I thought maybe we could help him."  
_  
_ "Of course we can. Unless he's bitten," Raymond walked towards Rick; examining  
him.

"I wouldn't risk other peoples' lives trying to save my own. I can promise you  
I'm clean."

"Aside from the drying blood and dirt," Raymond laughed warmly; taking Rick from  
the other two.

Doug let out a content sigh, "I was hoping he would let you guys in. Are you  
hurt at all? You can go with your father if you aren't comfort-..."

"I'm fine," Carl cut him off.  
_  
Doug kept his eyes on Carl, while he watched Rick limp further into the building  
with the burly doctor. Doug glanced over at his other group members watching as  
well._

"Oh, Carl. I'd like for you to meet the other people you'll be sharing this  
humble abode with. Here's Martin, Amelia is somewhere in here, you already met  
Christa and Raymo-.."

"Carl?"

_Carl peeled his eyes away from these strangers to follow his attention to the  
familiar voice._

"Carol," Carl asked bewildered.  
_  
Carol hurried over to Carl to give him a hug,_

"I see who your favorite acquaintance is."

"Shush Doug," Carol hummed and pulled back slightly to look at Carl "where's the  
rest of the group? Is everyone alright? Where's Rick?"

"He's being tended by Raymond. The Governor came with this group we've never  
seen before and killed Hershel."

_Carol covered her mouth and in an instant her eyes welled up with tears._

"He's dead?"  
_  
_Carl nodded but kept a firm face, "He beat my dad and we lost Judith. Everyone  
got separated in smaller groups...It was hell, Carol."

"Was there a way anyone could've prevented this?"

"Don't you think we would've figured it out if there was a solution?!"

_Carol bit her lip and wiped her eyes on her sleeve. Turning around to face the  
others,_

"I want us to welcome Carl and Rick with open arms. They're my family and I want  
them to be treated like that by all of you."  
_  
Martin and Doug nodded, walking back to go busy themselves when Carol waved  
them off._

"It's not like the prison at all, I know. But we're managing. We need help in  
more ways than one, so please just do whatever seems like it's helping us  
prosper."

"Why did you leave the prison," Carl asked. Taking in all of Carol's words but  
confused non the less.

"Go find Amelia, she's around your age. I'm sure you'll get on really well and  
then you can have someone to play with," Carol avoided his question.

Carl gave her an incredulous look and shook his head with a scoff, "I'm not a  
kid. I don't play, I survive and don't try to ignore my question. I want to know  
why you left us!"

"He hasn't told you," Carol asked but then looked over towards the toy section  
"go busy yourself with Amelia. I need to talk to Rick."

_With that she walked off; leaving Carl to fend for himself. He let out a heavy  
sigh as he made his way to the aisles covered in pink. To his dismay it was  
empty but he walked down it to the other end; taking in toys and doll houses  
Judith could've played with if she were here.  
Carl listened to the now increased volume of the music and followed it; finding a  
figure reading a magazine in the last aisle. He took in all of her features  
before dropping his gaze to the radio playing.  
_

"Nice Barbie boom box."


	3. Chapter 3

Amelia looked up at Carl with a fixed gaze, "I'm sorry do I know you? Normally  
when people make fun of someone, it's because they're acquaintances  
with them."

_Carl shook his head and gave the radio a light kick with his dirty combat boot._

"Careful, it was the only one that runs on batteries!"

"I heard your music as I was walking down the aisle," Carl stated as he kept his  
eyes on the stereo "what were you listening to?"

"The Passenger CD, it has a few good songs on it. Considering the small amount  
of options I had to chose from."

"You seem a bit laid back to be in the apocalypse..."

Amelia gave him a look, "am I supposed to have a specific emotion? I'm scared,  
yes but I also want to enjoy my teenage years."

"Oh of course, nothing says 'I love being fifteen' than the dead bodies of your  
family surrounding you!"

Amelia turned down her music, "you have a lot of nerve."

"I'm senseless," Carl laughed bitterly.

"No. Everyone feels, whether they want to admit it or not. I can see you're one  
to hide," she stood up.

"What because I said three sentences to you, you now think you know me?"

"I can just see how defensive you are. As if you have some walls built up,"  
Amelia sighed.

"Don't start with that dramatic shit. Please don't go thinking you can be the  
one to tear them down. There's no way in hell that I'm letting my guard down,  
just to get stabbed in the back again and again."

Amelia chewed on her lip then sat back down, "we got on, on such a great start.  
Nice talking to you..-"

_She looked up at him expectantly; waiting for his name. Carl only turned away, _  
_walking back to explore the rest of the confinement. He's not letting himself _  
_care; about anyone. He's already lost so many people he loved. The more people _  
_he let's into his life, the more people he loses in the end. He's stopped caring _  
_and worrying; he won't let himself feel anymore. Promised himself that when they _  
_lost Lori._

* * *

"Rick? Oh god look at you."

_Rick opened his eyes as Raymond dabbed a wet cloth on his forehead; cleaning off _  
_the dried blood. _

"Carol," he breathed "I told you. You found a group."

"She didn't find the group, she made it. Kind woman really, letting us all in  
without hesitation."

Carol looked over at Raymond and patted his knee, "Rick I'm sorry."

"About killing Karen and David?"

"No but yes. They were going to die eventually and effect more people if we  
hadn't touched them but I'm sorry for Tyreese. I remember him telling me that I'm  
caring not hard...that just hurts to think that he trusted me."

"It was wrong to kill people we could've treated," Rick huffed.

"They were dying! All of them ended up dying, the ones who lived were the ones  
who were strong. But that was hardly even forty percent that survived."

_Rick closed his eyes again and let out a breath; Raymond watching Carol _  
_suspiciously from the newfound information._

"You're forgiven. Mainly because your people let us in selflessly. Next time  
though, don't go making consequential decisions before talking it over with  
others."

"The thing is. They were dead before I burned them. I found Lizzie standing  
there, shaking with a bloody knife in hand," Carol looked at her hands  
wringing together. _Rick held his breath and Carl paused his movements from_  
_walking into the medical area where the conversation was being held._

"She was whispering that she was strong and wanted to help," Carol continued "I  
promised her I would help her clean up her mistake. So we burned them and I took  
the blame."

"So, you helped her in a murder..."

"She is a child who made a mistake!"

"Those rules don't follow anymore. The kids in our group were trained, by you,  
they shouldn't make mistakes. They shouldn't kill humans, only walkers."

Carol bowed her head, "their father asked me to protect his girls. I did  
everything I could to do so."

"Where are they then," Rick asked slowly.

"You sent me away! You separated me from them," she defended.

"Well maybe we could take that into consideration. If you let Lizzie take the  
blame then Tyreese would ease up and consider that she's just a girl, he can't  
kill her. It isn't right even though she committed a crime."

"Like you said, those rules don't apply here anymore. Whether you're young or  
old, it's survival that's important. But I feel like this apocalypse is almost  
like God's testing us to see through all of this if we still judge or actions on  
our morals not instincts."

"We would all fail this so-called test," Carl spoke up.


	4. Chapter 4

"You aren't supposed to be in this conversation, Carl."

"When are you going to stop treating me like a child," Carl snapped at Rick "I try so hard to prove to you that I am strong! What more do I have to do?"

"Nothing Carl. This isn't a game, this is life. I just need you safe. I'm not trying to refrain you from being a man when we're discussing a topic that is far from being a concern of yours."

"That is bullshit."

Before Rick could tell Carl off for swearing, Carol interrupted him, "how did it go with Amelia?"

"I pissed her off because I wasn't in her little fantasy world."

"Honey," Carol sighed "she's been through a lot this past week. Take it easy on her and have patience."

Carl scoffed,"she's been through a lot? She's pampered here and doesn't have to do shit! I lost my sister yesterday, what could she have possibly lost? A tampon?"

"How do you even know what tha-..."

"She lost her brother," Carol spoke over Rick again.

"I've lost more than her, I'm showing no sympathy."

"That's a bit cold..."

Carl only shrugged and fiddled with his gun as Carol watched him, "just go give her target practice. She might like that, she only uses a bat."

"I'm not suggesting it to her. You say I can try and teach her a few things if she stops being a bitch to me."

_Carol sighed with a slight nod as she rose; walking past Carl to talk to Amelia. Carl glanced at Rick and followed behind; as he walked he looked at Doug playing with the inside of a broken television as Marty popped bubbles with his gum. Carl walked out the door and towards the fence, shivering from the depleting temperature. He heard low grunts and snarls coming from the left of the fence; Carl was pulling his gun up to point towards the noise. Only to be shoved to the side by another body, he screamed and spun around to point his gun at the person behind him; Afraid it was a walker._

"How manly of you," Amelia smirked and moved towards the walker stuck in the sunken part of the fence.

"Shut up, I thought I was going to die."

_Carl watched Amelia spin her bat in her hand and bit her lip as she swung it at the walker's head._

"This is going to take a while," Carl raised an eyebrow as Amelia hit harder. With three hits the dead body was lifeless again. Amelia hummed as she turned to face Carl, "I was that type of kid at birthday parties who really wanted the candy inside the piñata."

Carl smiled with a low chuckle and Amelia smiled brightly, "Didn't know you knew how to smile, Cowboy."

"It's a police hat," His frown came back.

"Fine, Sheriff Carl."

"Carol told you my name, huh?"

Amelia smiled again, "she said you wanted to hang out too."

"No, not hang out. Target practice with guns."

"What?"

_Carl held out his gun for Amelia to take; she backed away from it._

"They aren't that bad, you'll get used to the noise and weight eventually."

"No I can't," she pushed away the pistol.

"Seriously take it. You need to use it to defend yourself!"

"I can't! Get it away from me please," Amelia begged; close to tears.

Carl furrowed his eyebrows and shoved his gun back into its holder, "Jesus it's not that b-.."

"My brother. He killed himself last week with a similar gun."

"Did he get himself in the head at least?"

Amelia tucked a strand of her semi greasy hair behind her ear as she nodded, "dead on."

_She started shaking; whether it be from the cold air or the verge of crying. Either way Carl was horrible with comforting people and he didn't want to be out here any longer._

"Listen we can practice some other time, yeah? You just need to toughen up."

With that he patted her shoulder as he strode inside. Amelia felt her eyebrows crease as she watched Carl disappear, "I am weak." _She glanced at the sunken barb-wired fence that the mangled walker is in. Holding her bat tighter; she hopped over the fence. Making her way into the wooded area near the Walmart. Needing to clear her mind and toughen up like Carl_ _said._

* * *

"I haven't seen her since you sent her outside with me," Carl explained to Carol as the other group members watched him.

_He arrived back inside after the failed attempted of a target practice, Amelia not following behind. Carl figured she was letting a few tears fall or recollecting herself so she can practice shooting. He didn't think her procrastination to come back inside was anything important. It was to their group. _

"She hasn't been outside those fences by herself, she's always had Nicholas by her side."

Carl shrugged from Carol's comment, "I don't know what you want me to do about it. If she doesn't know her way around, why would she leave and get herself lost?"

"She likes to explore but I'm just afraid that she got scared of a walker and ran in a different direction," Christa sighed.

"You should've brought her back inside with you Carl. You never leave someone behind," Rick breathed from his bed; considering they were all standing in the infirmary, so Rick could be involved in Carl's scolding.

Carl glared at Rick and Raymond moved to Rick's side, "Why don't you rest? You look exhausted, we'll all figure this out and leave you be."

_The group shuffled out of the area that was blocked off with shelves and a curtain._ _Carl twitched when the curtain hit him in the face, when Marty let go of it too quickly. Carl felt a tad bit guilty from just leaving Amelia out in the cold to cry to herself, yes but he wasn't going to voice that. He figures it was her fault for walking off and putting herself in danger. If Amelia just listened to Carl and practiced shooting, then followed him they wouldn't be wondering where she is. He heard an audible sigh when footsteps walking opposite of the others' were echoing around the silent building. _

"Thank God you're safe," Carol hurried to Amelia and hugged her "your body is cold."

"It's winter," she sneezed.

Carol pulled back and watched Amelia's face, "You're sick..."

Amelia nodded and wiped her nose on her sleeve, "I guess I was out there too long. It started snowing."

_Carol's jaw tightened like a predator refraining himself from jumping on it's prey; Carl was the first to notice this and he moved over to Amelia, taking her arm._

"I'll take her to the infirmary with Raymond, I'm sure she'll be better by tomorrow."

_He was afraid of letting Carol near Amelia ever since he listened in to his dad talking about her killing Karen and David. She helped Lizzie drag the bodies out of their beds' and burn them, all because they started coughing._ _He could argue he doesn't care about Amelia out loud because he is simply just helping a human who exposed herself to the cold, she isn't deadly. There's nothing wrong with him having morals and common sense. Carl could simply say he's helping Amelia because of Carol's sake too; not wanting her to be kicked out of another group because of her wrong-doings. But h__is actions should go unquestioned; __he doesn't have to explain himself to anyone...  
_

"Thank you," Amelia whispered as she laid down on the cot adjacent to Rick "why did you do that?"

_except Amelia._


	5. Chapter 5

_The first night that Rick and Carl stayed with the new group, was spent with Carl curled up on a pile of pillows in the middle of the conference area. Rick was awake with Carol; she came back to see how he was doing. He hasn't been able to sleep because of the throbbing pain in his head all day, so Carol figures she can speak with him to just tire him out. He and Carl haven't slept in almost a day estimated, that's why Carl was first to pass out from exhaustion; assumingly Rick won't go too far after him. _

_The simple conversation Carol wanted to have with him, turned into a lecture. A quiet one, since Amelia was fast asleep; only a little sniffles escaping her section to validate it. Also to confirm, she was only sick not turning. _

"I don't know anymore, Rick. You never know what can turn people now, even a cold can kill her!"

"Only if she doesn't have the right treatment, then she'll die. I trust Raymond won't just stop giving her care when she needs it most. If she dies then she dies but we'll let nature determine that. Not you. You aren't God, you can't go around and think you have control of peoples' lives. No matter how easy it is to control."

"We're just going to sit around and wait, is that right? She will die and that's when everyone scrambles to kill this monster that was once a little girl. How heartbreaking..."

"Don't. I'm not changing my mind and you're not touching Amelia, understand? I saw the way Carl tried to so subtly stare at her, I'm not getting rid of her until she does something absolutely inhumane."

"Like what I did?"

"Exactly," Rick murmured.

"You're going to forgive me eventually, right?"

"Maybe Carol, but right now. Absolutely not. Everyone needs a fighting chance and I know if I were there that night, I would've kicked you and Lizzie out then."

"They were sick, Rick. I don't know wh-..."

"They were humans! They deserved to live until they couldn't move any longer. This plague is already killing us slowly, no one wants to be killed off by their own kind faster than necessary!"

Carol grew quiet as Rick rubbed his temple and laid down; she got up and glanced at Amelia as she left. Rick fell asleep then once he knew Carol was settled back into her resting area.

* * *

_The ne__xt day early in the morning, Carl jolted awake. His body getting up and  
unconsciously moving to the infirmary. Last night, Carl didn't fully explain his  
actions to Amelia, he made a comment about helping her just proves that people still have some morals left in this dead world. He spoke nothing further than that about it. She seemed slightly unsatisfied with his vagueness but curled up in the  
blanket nonetheless; Carl looked over at the same spot she was in, subtly moving  
the blanket over her shoulders. Just so her cold didn't get worse. He then moved  
over to Rick and frowned; he looks horrible now that he has a closer view of his  
face._

"Dad," He said hushed as he pulled a chair over "wake up."

When Rick didn't budge; Carl's frown deepened, "Dad. Wake up."

"Wake up," he shook Rick momentarily and let out an aggravated huff; taking off  
his hat and bowing his head.

"I can't lose you. You're all I have left."

_Amelia awoke when Carl let his voice raise before, as he was yelling at  
Rick; now that she heard crying; she sat up. Carl will probably knock her away  
when she tries to approach him but he helped her yesterday. Why can't she help  
him now and return the favor? He is hunched over crying for his comatose father, what kind of person would she be to just pretend to fall back asleep and leave him? The horrible person she was because she left her brother in the same state Carl was in before he shot himself. Amelia can't lose someone on her behalf again because she can't provoke them from not doing something drastic to end their misery. With those thoughts she stands up and makes her way to Carl. Pausing next to him before squatting down and wrapping an  
arm around his shoulder. Carl does freeze and glance over but Amelia just rubs  
his back.  
_  
"It'll be okay. He'll be okay."

"You have no conception of that being true!"

"Trust me, just trust me for once and believe someone other than yourself."

Carl let out a long sigh and wiped his eyes, "I can't promise but I'll try."__

Amelia sat there with him as he silently cried; she could feel his body shaking to conclude that theory. It felt like a couple of hours before she broke the silence, "why are you so determined to not care about anyone?"

_The way she asked the question, sounded like she thought that his hatred was only for her. Carl tilted his head up to the ceiling after hearing the question and shook his head with a sniff; wiping his eyes in an abrupt way. He never seemed to do even the simplest action without coming off as if he hated the world._

"I try not to care about anyone because caring leads to worry... and when people worry they tend to focus on other things rather than themselves. In this world, that's the riskiest thing to do. You need to worry about yourself or you're going to be lying face first in dirt with a walker eating your intestines."

"That's not all true, you can't make someone your world because no one has time for that nowadays. But you are allowed to care because then there are more people you can save. Whether it be from a zombie or from themselves..."

"As in their minds," Carl chuckled wetly "I was going to suggest you need someone to get you out of that fantasy world you seem to be living in, but luckily you don't seem to be in too deep."

Amelia rubbed Carl's back gently as she stood up normally again, "why fix something that's not broken?"

"You are definitely something else," Carl laughed softly and looked at her from his seat.

"I think it gets boring after awhile when you can't tell the zombies apart from the survivors because we all start becoming the same."

"Weak and vulnerable?"

"Dull and lifeless."

_The rest of the day Carl spent it talking more frequently to Amelia who was still recovering. Then occasionally spending some quiet moments trying to see if Rick would wake up. He was scared, he wouldn't voice it out loud, but he was. Afraid he wouldn't see his dad wake up and having to adjust with this group without him. He doesn't like to think of the 'what ifs' for too long, so he will just wait it out._

* * *

(A/N sorry I've been sick all week and it happened to be the week I was off of school. I was hoping to update a few times but I seem to have lost that opportunity. I also have a tendency to start stories and never get across to finishing them. Normally I stop because I lose interest in the topics I write about but I promise that wont be the case for this story!)


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